Thursday, May 9, 2013

Day One Hundred and Twenty-nine - BONES: Season 1, Episode 14, "About as smooth as a frozen pig through a wood chipper."

I still don't get the appeal of Bones.

It's an average-in-every-way procedural that has nothing really "wow"-worthy in terms of cinematography, writing, or acting. It's character development is so far only episodic, facing new and different resets at each forty minute mark.

Granted, it looks like the writers are trying to lace some threads for future storylines, doing some early groundwork for Bones' missing parents, but the way it's presented makes it feel like every other relationship non-entity in the series.


This episode mostly follows a trio of bone fragments found under the smoking ruin of a private jet carrying Chinese diplomats. The fragments have nothing to do with the plane crash, but Temperance and her team want to run it anyway because the crash was accidental and the bone fragments indicate a several year old murder has been committed.

Enter a one-off McDreamy insert who has his own compelling story and ample personal drive to both catch Tempy's sympathy and, perhaps, a small amount of desire. Since its Temperance and he's a one-off, I was totally expecting them to fall into bed at some point, but it seems like while she has no small amount of empathy for the guy, it's not a rip his clothes off sort of thing.

I kind of wonder about that, really. The whole possible attraction thing seemed like an excuse to throw in some Angela lines as apparently it is her quest to get Tempy laid (why don't any of my friends have the same mission? >_<). Since it doesn't go anywhere... and pretty much isn't mentioned at any point by anybody after that, I have to wonder if I was right.

Any excuse for Michaela Conlin to go all "RAWRR," I suppose.

As with the most Bones episodes, overall it's just meh mysteries with little to no character arc'ing... which is pretty much the reason I hate procedurals now. At one point, there is even a cliche CSI moment where they toss a frozen pig into a wood chipper more as a stunt than for evidence reasons (seriously, you DON'T need an empirical test to estimate ejection speeds and dispersal patterns). And they did it right outside the Smithsonian, excuse me, Jeffersonian, in the parking lot.


The least they could do is hurry up and get someone laid. I don't care who at this point... let's start from the ground up and make Zack a man.

Until tomorrow, Potatoes~

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