Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Day Three Hundred and Thirty-one - MST3K: Werewolf, "What is it with vaguely European productions?"

I want to feel bad for Joe Estevez as he's the obvious black sheep actor of the family. Where Martin, Charlie, and Emilio have had such grand careers, he's stuck in crappy films like Werewolf and Soultaker. Now, don't get me wrong, he adds a lot of comedic value to such movies, especially with the help of Mike and the Bots, but still... kinda depressing.

Set in the greater Flagstaff, AZ area, Werewolf first follows a half hour of skinwalker drama as a group of European scientists find the skeleton of a long dead lycanthrope and discover than not only is it real, but it has infected one of their Native American laborers. After a small mount of Howling-level wolf antics, the pictures nominal main character, the writer Paul (also European), who falls into the honeytrap of Natalie who falls into his lap and somehow gains the lycanthropy virus.

The villain, Yuri (who is cursed with both bad hair and lighting), spends a good half hour of the film "discovering" the particulars of the werewolf curse, stealing some lycan blood from the hospital and infecting a random (also European) security guard who apparently transforms while circling the block in "Flagstaff" (Glendale, California) due to the fact that he passes THE SAME GAS STATION half a dozen times. Talk about reusing your stock footage. It's pretty damn hilarious to watch him go through the transformation over the period of 5-10 minutes and freak out, killing himself in a fiery explosion.

There's also a hilarious sequence where film lead Paul, now a wurewelf (no, seriously, listen to Natalie pronounce it), starts dry humping his own bed in the throws of lunar fever. This tendency recurs when he kills some random couple in the middle of their foreplay on a muddy road. Well, he kills the girl, anyway, by giving her neck raspberries.

Werewolf is a crap movie that is made hilarious by Mike and the Bots. Keep an eye out for Militiaman Santa, the most effeminate biker ever, and that SAME DAMN GAS STATION! The inbetweeners are a bit hit or miss. The 50's love song with the guys in drag was blah, but Mike as a Were-Crow was freaking hilarious. All in all a worthy pick to have in rotation on Netflix.

Until tomorrow, Potatoes~

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